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Truck Driver Work Life Balance – Making the Most of the Summer

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Summer trucking, just like trucking in all other seasons, comes with its perks and its downsides. For truck drivers with families, the toughest part about being a truck driver during the summer months is finding a good work life balance which allows you to generate income, while still spending important time with your spouse and children. Many drivers will select a job based on how much time they are able to spend at home, so it is very important to find a company that aligns with your needs. The last thing you want to miss is barbecues, trips to amusement parks, or family reunions, so finding this balance is key.  

Depending on your company’s policies, you may have the option to bring a spouse, kids, or the whole crew along on your trips, so our list of tips will be split into two categories: Making the Most of the Summer with Your Family on the Road and Tips for Staying Connected When You Are Away from Your Family.  

Making the Most of the Summer with Your Family on the Road 

According to Healthy Trucking of America, 13.6% of all truck drivers suffer from some level of depression, with one of the leading causes being spending too much time alone. This is especially true for truck drivers with families. The summertime is an important season for spending quality time with family and making new memories, so it is important for truckers to be able to have this time.  

For this reason, many companies offer the flexibility to bring family members along during a haul, so that you don’t miss out on anything. Now, even within a company that permits bringing people onboard your rig, there are different rules and procedures in place, so it is important to check with your company before getting on the road. Some companies have a minimum age requirement for children who will be traveling onboard, for example.  

After determining your company’s  rider policy, you will then want to make sure your cab is suitable for the family. Can more than one person comfortably ride in it? What can you add to make it more kid-friendly? Road trips can already be a lot of work when traveling with children but could be especially taxing if they are not used to riding in a big rig. Before setting off on your trip, make sure you have everything you need to make for a great ride. This can include entertainment for the kids, lots of snacks, pillows for naps, and plenty of ways to stay cool during the inevitable heat of summer.  

Another important factor to consider is the actual route of the trip. Some trips may be along routes that wouldn’t be suitable for the whole family, especially if they are known for severe or sudden changes in the weather. Mountain driving may not be for everyone, so if your route requires that, you may want to hold off on that one as a family trip. No matter what route you are taking, plan to make some stops along the way that are both trucker and kid-friendly. By planning ahead, you can make sure there are plenty of places to stop to eat, use the restroom, and even play, along the way. Consider looking for rest stops that offer picnic areas or playgrounds to make sure the kids can get out and stretch their legs during the trip. Making random stops is one of the most memorable parts of a road trip, so you definitely do not want to leave this out! Depending on your route, you may be able to coordinate a stop at popular destinations like these to keep the whole family entertained.  

Taking everyone on the road with you while working a job may not be the typical way to spend a summer vacation together, but it is a unique experience that allows you to show your family what you do, the beauty of the open road, and all the memories you can make along the way.  

Tips for Staying Connected When You Are Away from Your Family  

If your company does not allow you to bring family members on the road with you, or you are traveling on a route with adverse conditions, there are several creative ways to stay in touch with your spouse and kids while you are out working.  

  1. Pen Pals: Handwritten letters and postcards are a fun way to stay in touch with the family and hold much more sentimental value than a text message or email. As you make your way across the country, pick up unique, pretty, or funny postcards or small gifts to send back home. Take pictures of your travels and include those as well. Handwritten communication is rare, which makes it very special, and your kids will definitely want to hang onto the special mementos you took the time to send.  
  1. FaceTime/Video Chat: While handwritten sentiments are incredibly special, technology has evolved in a way that makes being away from your loved ones for extended periods easier with options such as FaceTime or video chats. While these interactions aren’t the same as having your family around in person, they offer a great chance to connect and see what everyone is up to. It also gives you a chance to show your family what life on the road is like and some of the areas you are traveling.  
  1. Social Media: Social media is another way to stay connected with your family, especially if you’re spread out across the country. Sharing pictures of your trip can allow your spouse and kids to feel connected to what you are up to and see a part of the country they may not have seen before. It also allows you to send motivational content to each other, as well as do live videos.  

Do you have special spots you like to travel to with your family during the summer months? Would you like to share how your kids stay entertained while traveling in your truck? Connect with us on Facebook or Instagram to share your stories!  

5 Parenting Tips for Truck Drivers

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5 parenting tips for truck drivers

No one understands the joys and pains of regularly coming home and turning right around and leaving again like a truck driver with a family. Life as a parent and a truck driver is a challenging but rewarding combination. For regional and OTR drivers, a few days of time in person has to sustain drivers through days or weeks away. Even when you’re home, as a long haul trucker, the transition home can take its toll.  Make time for yourself and your family while you’re on the road and when you come home. Here are a few parenting tips to help you make the most of your family time.

1. Master Good Communication

Facetime, Skype, and Zoom are all great video calling platforms that have a free plan for users. Especially with younger children, being able to see and hear each other is huge. Even when you’re away, your kids will know your voice and be excited to see you when you walk through the door.

Connect with your children in a way that works for them. If you have small kids, read them a bedtime story every night. Or, have a family movie night once a week. If you have older children, they might not want to video chat. Instead, send them messages throughout the day. Find out what’s going on in their lives and stay on top of the little things as well as the big ones.

Bunni

For many drivers, spending time with loved ones has gotten even more difficult since the COVID-19 outbreak.

Bunni, an OTR driver and mother shared, “I have one daughter. Before Coronavirus I was seeing her at least every other week. Now, she’s self-isolating at her grandparents’ farm. I probably won’t see her for a while because of that. We talk on the phone daily. We use Marco Polo, house party, Instagram, and snap chat as well.”

She added, “Kids will tell you everything if you’re a safe space for them. And sometimes you have to ask better questions than “how was your day” and “what did you do”. Try deeper questions. Ask how they feel about something they did. Or if they had anything happen that made them happy for someone else. The more specific the question the better. And once they start talking, stay engaged. Don’t just “mmhmm” their stories.”

2. Make the Most of Home Time

Even superhero parents can’t do everything. When you come home, you’re probably sharing time between a partner, your kid(s) and trying to rest up for your next shift.

Before you get home, prioritize the most important events & make a schedule. A schedule helps you make the most of your time while also allowing yourself recovery time.

When you make that schedule, there’s one very important rule. Be realistic, even when it’s hard. Kids will be disappointed if you can’t make it to an event. But, they’ll be devastated when you say you’ll be somewhere or do something and then cancel last minute. If you do have the energy to squeeze in an extra little league game or dance recital, they’ll be thrilled when you surprise them and show up.

3. Involve Your Kids

One of the best ways to be a part of your kids’ lives is to let them be a part of yours. If you have a take home truck program, show them your truck. Let them ask questions and sit behind the wheel. As they get older, tell them about the places you go and what it really means to be a truck driver.

Before you leave for your next load, let your family help plan your time away. Even if you don’t follow it exactly, they’ll love mapping your route and know where you are when you next call. You can even give each person a special job for while you’re out. It’s a great way to start conversations and connect.

Marion

We spoke to Marion, a truck driver who shared her parenting tips from driving OTR with 3 children and 6 grandchildren.

“[When I was raising kids] I did regional, home on the weekends. My advice would be to listen to your kids. Especially to the things they don’t say. Make electronics your friend and video chat with them daily,” shared Marion.

She continued, “Teenagers are difficult no matter what. Don’t let things go by because you might have a bad conscience not being there. Stay in touch, let them know they can talk to you. Be a parent, even when you’re not physically there. It’s hard at times, but they will thank you later.”

4. Don’t Forget about Your Partner

Not all parenting tips are about the kids! As you share time with your children, don’t forget to make time for just you and your partner. It’s important time for both of you, and it’s good for your kids in the long run.

Set honest expectations about the shortcomings of trucking jobs. Your partner is sharing in the good, the bad, and the ugly, so be frank about what you both need. A key part of your communication is conflict resolution. Establish a healthy way to discuss conflicts before you need it. That way, you won’t spend your time at home solving all the problems you didn’t want to talk about.

5. Be Kind to Yourself

Transitions are hard and you’ll be making a lot of them. All the parenting tips in the world won’t help if you aren’t taking care of yourself on the road and when you’re home. Be kind to yourself and your family.

Take time for sleep, exercise, and healthy meals. Find your balance between time together and time by yourself.

Know that you’ll make mistakes sometimes. Decide what you can do differently next time, sincerely apologize if you need to, and then move forward. Make sure you do what you can both on and off the job to be the partner and parent you want to be.

Single Parent OTR Trucking

If you’re a single parent ready to start driving, you have a few extra considerations. It is definitely possible to work OTR, but it’s important to consider preparation and timing. All long haul families need a good support network, and that is particularly true for single parents.

Both you and your kids will need help from others sometimes. Have those people in place before you get started and know who you can count on in any situation. You should also think about the timing of your decision. Older kids can be involved differently than young children and may be more understanding and supportive of your decision.

Separated Families with One OTR Parent

As with single parenting while an OTR driver, life over the road as a divorced or separated parent has unique challenges. No matter what, the most important thing you can do is prioritize your child. That also means working to maintain good communication between parents (even when it’s not easy). As much as possible, strive to be consistent in your home time.

Even in the best situations where both parents are trying to make the connection work, scheduling is hard. You’re both working around each other’s schedules and sometimes you may have to make hard compromises.

At the end of the day, make sure you weigh the cost of an OTR vs. a local job. OTR jobs typically pay more, but you give up a lot of time in your child’s life. If OTR is still the right decision for you, be prepared to work closely with the stay at home parent and use these parenting tips to find creative ways to connect with your child both on and off the job.

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Thoughts From A 65-Year Trucking Dynasty

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Image via Prairie Publishing

Ron Stencel, a 65-year trucking dynasty, knows the trucking game all too well.

When he was 3, his father took him on a haul to Kansas City from Minnesota Lake. He immediately fell in love with the profession, and has spent his entire adult life dedicated to the industry. Trucking is in his blood.

Sixty-five years later, Stencel hopes pass the family business onto his son and grandson, Ron Adam.

“When school was out for the summer I could not wait to get to ride in the big truck during summer break,” Adam Stencel told Prairie Publishing, which shared the Stencels’ story

Sadly, few young people share Adam’s enthusiasm for a life on the road.

Like so many truckers, Stencel has felt the impact of fewer young people entering the trucking profession. In the article, he says new government mandates about monitoring drivers’ time has negatively affected the industry. As he explains, people often choose this profession due to its flexibility and freedom, but the new rules take a lot of the fun out of driving, Stencel says. With truckers’ every move now being monitored, that freedom and flexibility has begun to fade.

As the former vice president of the Minnesota Truckers Association, Stencel is a long-time advocate of CDL drivers. In fact, to foster a close-knit community among Minnesota drivers, the MTA began holding an annual get-together. The group had its most recent congregation on June 23. “You just don’t know how long these truckers will be around and it is important to maintain the friendships.”

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Mom of 13 Enjoys On-the-Road Work

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Earlier this year, Debbie Tucker was a stay-at-home mom with 13 children. Today, she’s an on-the-road mom working with her husband, William, who has been a truck driver for 42 years.

The Lexington Herald-Leader recently shared Debbie’s story. As the article explains, the Georgetown, Ky., couple married in 1990, bringing together William’s seven children with Debbie’s five. They later adopted their 13th child, now 6-year old Ava.

In late February, Debbie tells the Herald-Leader she was inspired by all of her children to get back to work. “There are so many things we want for the kids, that we want for ourselves,” she says. They want to provide their children with enough money to pay for a wedding and land one day.

Two months into the job, Debbie says she was able to settle in easier than most. She and William share the same truck, working joint hauls. Combining trips allows the two to travel longer distances in less time, which increases their income.

Each partner drives 11 hours daily, while the other sleeps. For two hours a day, they have quality time to spend when neither is working. Although that might not appear be much, “two hours a day is more than we had,” Debbie tells the newspaper.

The lifestyle change is one that Debbie says she must become adjusted to. Being that the truck is both their workplace and home, a lack of personal space can be frustrating. Debbie mentions that her biggest transition has been learning patience while enjoying her time on the road.

Debbie explains that truck driving has become second nature: “I still cannot parallel park a car, but I can put a 53-foot trailer in a spot like God himself put it there.”

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Linked Through Their Profession, Truck Driving Brought Out the Love Between a Mother and Her Daughter

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Heather Hogeland never aspired to be a truck driver. She grew up the middle of three girls, the tomboy of the bunch.

“In the ‘60s and ‘70s, girls didn’t dream about driving a truck,” she says.But her father, Robert, had an owner operator trucking job, so Hogeland was destined for the same career all along. It was her father who taught her how to drive a truck—and he taught her well. In 1976 at the tender age of 19, Hogeland got a CDL trucking job.

In looking at Hogeland’s life, she followed in her father’s footsteps—and her mother followed in hers.“I was an inspiration to her, not the other way around. That’s kind of unique,” Hogeland says of her mother, Doreen, who took up truck driving in her 50s. “I couldn’t have done it without her, because she raised my son for me.”

Heather and Roger in 1983

Mom takes up truck driving

Hogeland and her husband, Roger, are retired team drivers who have been married for 33 years. In their heyday, they ran hard from south to north and everywhere in-between.

Doreen observed their lifestyle from afar and wanted in on it. “She saw Roger and me and thougt she wanted to do it too,” Hogeland says. “My dad was shocked. He wasn’t real happy with the plan.”

By the early 1990s, Doreen came into an inheritance. She used it to make a down payment on a brand new Volvo truck. And despite her husband’s protests, in 1992, Doreen earned her CDL permit and started driving. Leased through Countrywide, a reefer carrier out of southern California, and later to Southern Star Transport, Doreen and Robert began running team together up to Toronto, Ontario.

Doreen Drove With Her Furry Companion

Great memories

While Robert and Doreen rarely ran with their daughter and son-in-law, but it was a wild time when they ran together. Hogeland recalls the tales with a laugh.

“Mom and I were running down the road one night, Mom was following me and we were speeding,” Hogeland recalls. “People would say things over the radio and we would have fun. I’d say, ‘Watch your language, my momma is right behind me!’ And my dad would shout to my mom, ‘Do you know how fast you’re going?’ I love the funny memories.”

Hogeland also recalls that her mother’s sense of direction lacked. “My mom got lost going into Cleveland every time,” Hogeland says. “And she ran into Cleveland every week. My dad would drive with her and he never got any sleep because she got lost. Following directions wasn’t one of her priorities.”

Doreen passed away in 2005 at age 69.

Hogeland reminisces about her warmly even now, recalling her as a woman who never met a stranger. Who located stragglers at truck stops and invited them home for dinner. Who always put family first.

“I’m so grateful for those times that we had,” Hogeland says. “My mom taught us that humans aren’t perfect, but they are human. She was about as imperfect as they come, but she taught me how to forgive. And that’s one of the most important lessons you learn in this world.”

To celebrate Mother’s Day we want to know if your trucking job brought you closer to a parent, too? Connect with us here and share your story.

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The Tender Lives of Trucking Wives

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The Holleys

At Drive My Way, we’re always highlighting truck drivers. We decided it’s time to highlight their other halves—the wives who hold it down at home while their truckers are on the road.

We spoke with two trucker wives who have more in common than they know: Justine Culhane-Holley of Jacksonville, N.C., and Michelle Campbell of Mocksville, N.C. Both have two kids. Both are in college. And both make it look easy (It’s not.).

The Campbell family

The Campbell family

Full days and challenges

“There are some really hard days,” says Campbell, who has an 11-year-old autistic son and a 4-year-old daughter with her husband, Eric.

While Eric is busy as an owner operator leased to TMC, “I’m in nursing school and I’m pretty much running around like a crazy person to make things easy for my husband,” Campbell says. “He’s doing everything he can for our family. I know that. But sometimes I think it might be harder for the mother at home.”

For Culhane-Holley, the day begins at 5:30 a.m., when she gets her daughter ready for kindergarten.

Campbell follows at 6 a.m. It has to be 6 a.m., because her son needs routine.

Soon after they take their kids to school, the ladies hit the books for their own classes. Campbell is in her last year of nursing school; Culhane-Holley is pursuing a conservation degree online.

“It’s real important for me to stay strong for him so he won’t worry about me,” Culhane-Holley says of her husband, Charles Holley Jr., a company driver for TMC. “I make sure he’s not the one I complain to. I don’t want to put extra stress on him.”

Both women are raising their children without a support system, which adds to their stress. The Campbells had Eric’s mother nearby for a while, but she has since passed away. The Holleys, who have a toddler and a 5-year-old, moved to North Carolina from West Virginia last winter.

As lonely as days can get, both women know if it’s hard for them, it’s just as hard for their husbands.

Home time

Charles Holley with his kids

Charles Holley with his kids

On weekends when Eric is home, the Campbells play with the kids, cook together and live in the moment.

“We have quality time, because that’s what matters,” Campbell says. “It’s not as often as we wish, but we enjoy what time we do have.”

The Holleys get as little time together as the Campbells do—an average of 24 to 36 hours a week. When Charles is home, he spends most of his time with his daughters, taking them to the beach every chance he gets.

“When he’s on the road so much, the time we do have together is all the more special,” Culhane-Holley says.

Making it work

Love is what brought these couples together, and it’s what keeps them together. While being apart is never easy, it’s always worthwhile.

Michelle and Eric Campbell

Michelle and Eric Campbell

“I would like women to know that it’s definitely not an easy thing, and they need to appreciate the time they do have with their husbands,” says Campbell. “It’s about quality over quantity.”

Culhane-Holley has become more independent since Charles began driving last February. “I’m a lot stronger than I thought I was,” she says. “When the kids get hurt or you have an issue with your house, you have to buck up and handle it. Once you can handle the problems yourself, you realize you can do it.”

Campbell, too, knows the life they’ve built in North Carolina is a good one, even if her family lives on the opposite coast in California. To handle stress, the women have turned to TMC and Facebook support groups.

“You’re actually not alone, because you can see that others are sharing your experience,” Culhane-Holley says. “We can express our frustrations to each other instead of to our husbands.”

Adds Campbell: “I love that there is a community out there for women, because it isn’t easy. At the same time, I wouldn’t ask my husband to do anything differently. We make things work, and he’s provided us with an amazing life. I couldn’t be more thankful for that.”

Is a member of your family a truck driver? Share your story and connect with us here.

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